I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
