We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
