This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
