The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
