I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
