I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
