He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
