it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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