I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
