: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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