please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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