I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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