Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
