the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
