Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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