Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
