Sry I called you an 8
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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