were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
