I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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