Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
