P.S. I can't hear my feet
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
