Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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