you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I bet he comes in French.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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