hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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