sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
