Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
