Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
