Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
