when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
