Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
