I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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