did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
