so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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