i was born a porn star she said
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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