Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
