he puts the penis in happiness.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You made out with two different species that night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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