3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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