Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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