Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
