Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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