i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize