Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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