I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
