i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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