i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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