Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize