While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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