I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
