Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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