She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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