he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
