Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
