The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
