Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
