So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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