you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
