he shaved USA in his pubs
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We have so much sex to catch up on
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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