I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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