my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
In the future we'll all be gay
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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