i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
