worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize