If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
