im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Farmville is her only friend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
