Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
