i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So many bounce houses so little time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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