the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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