U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She is in my trunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
