Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize